A Few of Kat's Favorite Posts: Older Men and Younger Women. It's not (entirely) About the Money

Only in New York City is an attractive 35 year-old male who's never been married a normal thing. Anywhere else, this guy would be married, or divorced, or "odd" and therefore perpetually single. But, oh Manhattan, you have made these men so common that a 35 year-old who's married is the anomaly.

I went on a date last night with such a man. I know I just finished talking about the nasty old bald men who date 20 somethings. But, this was a little different. This guy may be 35, but he looks (and lives) much younger. None of his friends are married. They all work on Wall Street, go out to clubs and bars, and are really into good food and great restaurants. This guy wakes up and goes biking or hiking or white water rafting every weekend, not to mention, he always gets to the gym, or at least goes for a run, everyday.

If he'd stayed in the midwest, he'd have a wife, an addiction to pro football, and a potbelly. As it is, he's in better shape than half the guys I dated at Northwestern, and he's just starting to think about buying instead of renting.

Readers are probably immediately jumping to the conclusion that I've turned into a true struggling actress, going out with way older men entirely because of their bank accounts. I understand that's what it looks like.

The truth is, and it depends on what kind of guy the older guy is and what kind of girl the younger girl is (we're all different) but the real appeal of the older man isn't the money, it's the experience. I'm sure when BrooksBrothers was 25, he pulled the same kind of shit I'm used to on his unfortunate female contemporaries.

I bet he went out to a different club every weekend, made out with tons of girls and got their numbers and then didn't call...or found the little slip of paper in a random pocket two weeks later and called from a bar to say "hey, why don't you hop into a cab and come out with all of us?" (while in the process of getting another girl's number). He probably bailed the minute it seemed serious-like he might have to say something along the lines of, "tell me more about your bad day, sweetie," and follow it up with actually listening.

There's nothing wrong with these actions and these guys. They get away with it because, I'm sorry to betray the sisterhood, but a lot of girls are dumb. Until we get smart, that is. We start making demands, and they peace out. Or, we decide not to demand so much and end up never actually going on a real date--unless watching him play Texas Hold'em with his buddies while drinking the beer you brought over counts, and if that constitutes a date these days then I'm off the market.

Women get smart, and start looking up the age ladder. Maybe this isn't necessary in other cities. But, it is here.

My date meets me close to my apartment, he has an idea of two different restaurants, both of which he's been to. He knows lots of interesting things and asks intelligent questions that show he actually listened to what I was saying. Is this guy desperate? Doubt it.

This guy is smart. It's smarter to meet by my apartment-it shows respect and he's learned (no doubt the hard way) that making a girl come to you instead only makes her resentful-then she orders the most expensive thing on the menu because she had to take a cab 40 blocks.

Why bother to ask questions and listen? Because he's learned that if you do that, the girl will be ten times more likely to remain interested in you, especially if you call the perfect amount of time later (which he knows is about two days after the first date). And, if he asks you about something you mentioned on date #1, you will be more likely to go on a second date.

Ah, experience. Yeah, the guy's in finance and has a great studio in the West Village, but Hyena's older man is a musician with a place way up in Washington Heights (like 180th or something WAY up there), and she 'aint complainin'.

It's not the money, it's the experience.

Although, tickets to "Spamalot, the musical" and five course dinners aren't so bad either.

As a Postlblog (hindsight is 20-20) to the above post, the older man dating scenario occured over a year ago and eventually, even the sugar daddy gifts couldn't fix the following problems created by 35 versus 23:

1) My not knowing what "Sanford and Sons" was made him feel old. (Apparently, it's a TV show?)
2) In order to look younger, the dude never left the gym and counted calories more than I do
3) He was balding, it started to bother me about the time he condescendingly explained a concept called "mortage" that he assumed would be over my head
4) He had a cat (that's really not about being too old, but the cat was a serious problem)

After BrooksBrothers and I ended things, I went back to being dumb, and dated a guy my own age called Thumbprint...who had a horrible habit of calling late at night, from bars, suggesting I "come meet up."